It’s okay. They’ll tell you what you can’t do. Or what you don’t do. Or what you should do or shouldn’t have done.
They’ll blame you for their miseries. And you’ll face criticism for what they couldn’t achieve.
They’ll give you a thousand ways why your plan, ideas or ways will and should fail.
They’ll make you feel guilty about you prioritising yourself over them.
They’ll consider your pain or loss minimal or null when compared to their’s and give hundreds of reasons why you are still “luckier” or “privileged” than them, for you just cannot understand their pain.
They’ll not follow up for months, but taunt you for not being there, even when you were and are always there.
They’ll express hatred for you, your profession, for every decision you make. For that’s how they choose to live.
And it’s okay.
Don’t let that affect you. Do what you want & be who you want to be.
Amidst all the chaos, listen ONLY to your heart. Keep calm. Let the shit go.
We speak to many- at workplace, at home, in general.
We have meaningful conversations with a few – we meet them, we call or we text them – often, every single day. To an extent that we feel we are actually able to “hear” their voice in their text. We feel we can “listen” to their tone while reading their message. We believe can “see” their expressions while going through their SMS.
But, this isn’t true.
Many a times, through this digital, expressionless, monotonous conversation, we may not be able to understand what they mean, or how they’re feeling.
My click at IIM Indore.
Sometimes, we don’t even realize the words we mail or text, or even speak; may have a long lasting effect on someone while we type or speak; and forget.
At times, physical presence is required. Personal meetings are necessary. Face to face conversation is important.
If only we could speak in flowers. It would be easier for everyone to understand.
‘Ana, since we have to shift to Chennai, I am thinking that instead of taking all the stuff together, I will just take the bare minimum. You can then bring the major stuff like washing machine, refrigerator, furniture, etc. when you come. We can manage that one by one once I find a place to live there and you come there.’
‘Yes, Aadi. For the time being, we can keep all the stuff at my parents’ place. Meanwhile I will also wind up my job here and will then manage the relocation.’
‘Yeah, sounds good.’
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However, when do things work out the way you plan? Ana already had left Aadi’s house when he ‘Fake Swore’ on her—for his girlfriend. Aadi had to go for a tour next day, so he didn’t even realise that this was the last chance he had to ask Ana to be with him. He instead went on the tour and as always—neither called or texted her. However, this time it was different for Ana. She was way to busy to care or whine about Aadi. She had various official tours to Delhi & Mumbai. She was occupied growing her career—till one fine day Aadi came to her place in the evening with all the stuff—the stuff which Ana had purchased or that belonged to Ana. For example, before wedding while setting up the house, Ana had purchased a TV set and a washing machine, along with some utensils and other minor stuff like toiletries, grocery stands, shelves, etc. Aadi had purchased the refrigerator and the dining table.
Aadi said that since he was shifting to Chennai and had to leave the flat Ana and himself lived in, he was sending the stuff at Ana’s place. He had tried hurting Ana even before in the last month by sending some stuff that belonged to Ana at her place—her toiletries, her two pairs of sarees, her towel, even her stationery. It didn’t take more than a moment for Ana’s mom to understand that Aadi is trying for a separation, right here, right now. She confronted him while Ana wasn’t around.
‘Aadi, son, why are you leaving all this stuff which Ana purchased here? Won’t you need this stuff at Chennai? Or you think you and Ana won’t be living together?’
‘No, I am taking just what is important.’
‘Won’t you need washing machine or TV while you’re alone? You’re not taking that since Ana purchased it?’
‘No, I will give my clothes on laundry and won’t even have time to watch TV.’
‘Take some utensils?’
‘No. I won’t be cooking at home anyway.’
‘Then why are you taking refrigerator with you when you won’t cook? Because you purchased that?’
‘No, I might need it for storing food.’
‘Aadi, you’re acting like you’re separating right here with Ana—sending all her stuff to her and taking all what belonged to you.’
‘I won’t be able to fulfil her expectations anyway… So…’
Ana’s mom didn’t say a word after that. It was damn clear that Aadi is now initiating a ‘separation’. Dividing the stuff was the simplest way to do this—without saying a word.
Shines & Shadows 