Money or Mindset?

My first regular job paid me Rs. 4,500 per month, and second one paid Rs. 12K.

Majority of my schoolmates went for engineering or medical; while I chose media, filmmaking & journalism.

In 2012, on my birthday, I was with a childhood engineer friend who was interning at a giant company as a management trainee while I was an editorial trainee at a national newspaper.

She and her mother insisted on buying me a ‘gift’ from a shop. I was hesitant. They anyway got one worth Rs. 500. My friend insisted on buying me another one. I refused.

Her mother laughed sarcastically and said, ‘Take it. My daughter earns Rs. 50,000 per month and is living her life independently in a metro. You are just stuck here in Indore with 12K. It will take you years to be able to gift or even ‘help’ someone. Take it, at least someone is giving you ‘happiness’ you can’t afford.’

I didn’t meet them thereafter.

I was a top ranker throughout graduation and post graduation. I am a PhD in Management. All these years, I have changed jobs, learnt and grew – professionally, emotionally and personally.

And yet, even today after years, my salary is probably the lowest among my classmates & even my juniors.

Why this story?

Since a few months, I have been helping rural women learn how to use social media to enhance their micro-businesses.

Free of cost.

They have one smartphone in a family of at least 8-12 people. They don’t have proper internet connectivity. They don’t know English. They don’t have Gmail accounts. The men in the family don’t let the women use phones. If a woman uses a phone, a man always sits with her to keep an eye on her. The men remove the women from the WhatsApp groups they have been learning from.

Yesterday, one of them finally succeeded in creating a Facebook page. With zero followers, of course. With errors, of course. But, she was happy. She tried and succeeded.

And the smile on her face was the greatest gift I ever received.

So today, when I ‘help’ people achieve their dream; ‘gift’ them ‘happiness’, I am content. Your individual recognition and work satisfaction level might be debatable. But is your work making a difference in someone’s life?

Earning doesn’t matter. Mindset does.

SCREENPLAY: Salary

Scene 1

‘Ana, from today onwards, you won’t be sharing anything about your new home at your parents’ place or anything about your parents’ place here. You now belong here and you need to live according to us. Also, just quit your ten-hour job. How will you take care of your husband?’

‘Grandma, we both will manage the home. I will never let your grandson or you down.’

‘Oh Ana, you have already let us down by going to work. How much do you earn?’

‘It’s just 30-32K as of now, but I am looking forward to getting an increment.’

‘How does increment or promotion matter? The men in the house should work and earn. You just focus on Aadi’s career, not yours. If at all you want, we will deposit some amount every month in your bank account. Consider that as your ‘salary’ for taking care of our grandson and his home.’

Photo by Disha Sheta on Pexels.com

‘But what about my career? Sister-in-law is also working, right? How would we feel if her in-laws don’t allow her to work after marriage? We won’t like that, right? That’s why we’re looking for grooms working in her current city…’

‘Don’t argue. After all, girls are meant to leave their paternal place. We don’t have any right on them later on. Let her future in-laws decide what they want to do with her. You just focus on the ‘offer’ I gave you.’

Scene 2

Aadi brought some street food in breakfast on a weekend. He had developed this habit of constantly taunting Ana about how much he spent. Ana was annoyed with this.

‘What happened Ana? Today you ate a kachori worth Rs. 10, yet you’re annoyed?’

‘Why do you keep taunting me about how much you spend on me, Aadi? I never asked you for money. I am paying the maids, the cook, paying the TV cable bill, laundry and grocery. I am taking care of my own expenditures as well. I never asked you for money.’

‘Well Ana, you should have. Ask me for money. Ask me like other wives ask their husband. I will lend you some money then.’

‘Like other wives? I can take care of my own expenses. And you know what, one of my friend’s husband transfers 30K every month to her bank account for home expenses and even her expenses.’

‘Your friend must be a housewife! You quit the job, I will also transfer 10K every month to your account.’

‘No, I love my job. And by the way, I earn 30K. Why would you transfer just 10K? Will you quit your job to take care of home chores?’

‘Hahaha! Are you serious? Yes, I might quit my job. I am working just to pay my education loan. After that, I will sit and relax at home while you go to work. Although, right now… You first need to qualify to earn 30K. Learn how to take care of the house, learn how to cook various cuisines, take care of my family… Then probably I will lend you 30K. As of now, even 10K sounds like you’re overpaid.’

Ana didn’t say anything to Aadi, for it was such a waste. Empty vessels make the most noise, right? She kept wondering why just women are forced to quit their jobs to take care of the house? Why is taking care of the home or home chores not gender neutral? How can one estimate the ‘salary’ of how much a woman ‘works’ at home? Anyway, she took a pledge never to quit her job. After all, she wanted to eat the Rs. 10 kachori forever, with self-earned money with self-respect!